Impossible

Isn't it crazy how you can be surrounded by people you love and still feel like the loneliest person on earth? 
I honestly don't know what I want these days. It's like nothing in this world satisfies me anymore. I don't want to be around people. I don't even want to be around myself sometimes. I don't know what's wrong and at the same time, I don't know what's right either. I just feel like shutting down and escape all this shit that's going around me lately. 
And it's so fucking insane how sick and tired I am of being here, of waking up every damn morning, of feeling this way and not knowing what to do about it anymore. I realize, in the end, I only have myself. I'm the only one I can count on. How ironic, since I'm also the one who I can't really trust. My whole life is one gigantic piece of insanity. 
Why do life suck so much? I honestly don't know.